Under The Table

by Damien Darkside

First published

What do you get when Dashie likes your books? You get paid under the table of course!

Today seems like a perfect day to sell your books! Nothing out of the ordinary could ever happen.

Oh wait, you are in magical horse land, of course something is going to happen. Your no-strings-attached buddy Rainbow Dash might have something to do with it too.

Proof-read by Zephyr. Thanks for putting up with my writing!

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Under the Table
By Damien Darkside
Edited by Zephyr

It is a gloriously bright and sunny day in Equestria. The birds are singing in the trees and there isn't a cloud in the sky. In fact there isn't much more that this day could give you that would make it better. It isn't too hot and there is an enjoyable breeze that carries scents from restaurants all over Ponyville.

It also is a perfect day for you to get down to the marketplace and to try and sell another one of 'your' books. Yes, you are a book salesman as well as an accomplished author. The idea came to you one day when you realized that there is an incredible lack of stories that are close to human culture. You thought to yourself 'if only there was a way to get the words that I forgot out of my head'.

Lo and behold, you decided to go to the best mare for fucking with your head: Twilight Sparkle. Fortunately you and Purple Smart have got along quite well since you landed in Equestria all those years ago. You told her that you wanted to remember your past on Earth more clearly, she was able to summon up some beans of some sort to help you remember. So hopped up on pony drugs and with a ton of paper, you started to write out stories from Earth.

Some tales you kept as human folklore. You decided to re-write other books to be more coherent or understandable to ponies. Some books you kept the same as they were originally written. Of course you did take a few tales and made them into ponified versions of themselves.

Tolkien will never forgive you for what you did to The Lord of the Rings. Then again it is now Princess of the Rings isn't it?

Sellout.

So, this early in the morning on a bright summer's day you decide that it would be a great day to sell books. You are quite fortunate that ponies really like what you write. The stories that you put on paper are so wildly different than any author in their time that nopony ever suspected you of plagiarism. How would anypony be able to prove it as well? They'd have to somehow travel through a portal into the human world and attend some sort of high-school right up until a dance of some kind to do so.

Another reason why you are popular is that on a recent trip to Canterlot you prevented a mare from stealing Twilight's Element of Harmony crown-thing and jumping through a mirror. You never really caught that pony's name too, all you did was right-hook her as she ran for the portal. You just happened to be there at the right time and stopped Twilight from accessing who-knows-what dimension that might have totally compromised your 'writing'.

Good job by the way. True hero to Ponykind. Yay you.

So today you load up a bunch of books onto a cart and make your first trip down the road to the marketplace. You took a slight break lately, so you only have to bring two entire loads with you which are only a hundred books or so. You set up near the market but a small distance away. Ponies didn't really wipe their hooves off well between Applejack's cart and your cart. The first few days of being open left pie crumbs all over your papers.

You take some time to set up your table. It is fairly simple, made of wood and almost four feet high. It is a half-circle in the front, coming to a regular rectangle at the back and sloped downwards to show off all your titles. This way you can stand and talk to anypony who might show up, and those behind them if one is browsing your books. Your arms are long enough that you could reach around any side of it and it allow you to place more books on sale. You place a large, loose emerald green fabric over the top that reach the ground on all sides. Rarity gave you that one to make your stall “more professional, like your writing”.

A thunk sound from your table takes you out of your thoughts as you start to take books from your cart. Looking back you see that nothing out of the ordinary with your stall. Shrugging to yourself you start loading up your books into smaller loads to arrange on your table.

It is almost time for the markets to open. You start organizing your last load on the counter, placing books from different genres into different spots on the table. You smile as you toss Indiana Jones and the Seven Veils on the “adventure” side. Rainbow Dash instantly took to that series when you gave her the first book. Sure, you made Jones a pony and you might have changed a few other stories to have Indy in it; however it was still nice to test your actual writing ability to make new stories for Dash to read instead of ripping everything off.

Of course, there are rumours of some Indiana Jones and Daring Do fan-fiction sprouting up somewhere. Something about a “ship” and you didn't understand the appeal. It got more ponies into the series and quite frankly, it made you more bits so you don’t care.

Speaking of Dash, she is a bit later than usual today. She would often be the first one on your booth to see if you have any other stories for her to read. It is quite silly of her to do that since you two are 'practically dating' according to Rarity.

What you two have isn't a relationship, but more of a friendly understanding. You understand that you both like to fuck and she is extremely understanding to take into consideration that you would never knock her up and last longer than a pony. Neither of you has explicitly said that you want to be a couple, but you figured that if she wants to be together with you that she would ask.

You do a few start-of-the-day stretches and get yourself ready to sell some books!

It isn't long before Rarity arrives to you. She is wearing a nice sun hat and a diamond choker that catches the light of the morning sun nicely. “Why hello there! How are you today?” Rarity politely asks in her sing-song voice.

You smile back to her as you pick up a book that you want her to read from the box beside you. “Hey Rarity, have you read this one from me yet?”

“Oh,” she pauses to look at the title, “this one seems new. What is it?”

You think you feel something brush up against your legs but you dismiss it. “It's a novel I have made that is inspired by a play I once saw as a child.”

You pause slightly as you feel a hoof on your left leg and you look down inconspicuously to notice an inch of a rainbow-coloured tail disappear under the table. It is definitely Rainbow Dash. You try to figure out what the fuck Rainbow could be up to as you focus on Rarity.

“Oh! A theatric telling of a story made into prose?! Darling if it wasn't for you and Rainbow being so close you could just sweep me away with such a tale! Tell me more about it!” Rarity's attention is all on you as you shift a bit.

As she is saying that, your legs are slowly caressed from two very familiar hooves and you feel an equine mouth kiss up your right leg over your jeans. Your mind clicks as you realize what Skittles is going to do to you, in public, in front of other ponies.

“Well it is called Romeo and Juliet. It is a tale of forbidden love between a mare and her stallion, separated by two families deep in a feud. I thought of it when thinking back to some of the older histories of Equestria.”

Your jeans button is undone and Dash's teeth skillfully unzips your fly as your mind races as Rarity goes on about how fantastic true love is. Meanwhile, you are having a very intense argument with your brain and dick.

Brain fires the first shot. “Sir! We are in public and there could be fillies around!”

“I don't care,” cries your dick as it starts to wake up, “we probably will never get this experience again!”

You imagine pointing to your dick. “I'm inclined to agree with Dick here Brain. This never comes up unless you are in some cheesy story.”

“You could get arrested if anypony figures it out!” Brain pleads with you.

“Rainbow Dash gives fucking amazing blowjobs!” Dick responds.

You and Brain think for a moment as Rainbow tries to pull your pants down. “Fuck it, Dick is right, let's do this.” Brain agrees with you instantly.

You shift your legs slightly to give her an easier time to pull your boxers down and you could almost hear a “yes” come from under the table as Rainbow nuzzles your rising shaft. Rarity is still talking apparently “...don't you think that happy endings are the greatest?”

Wait what? Romeo and Juliet never ended happily. “Well you see Rarity, sometimes it is the books that break the norm that can make you think-” you paused as Dash licked and caressed your length with her tongue “-differently. If every story ended the same then what would be the point?”

“That's why I love your stories! Take your telling of Twilight for instance...” Rarity started to go off on a tangent again.

Yeah you copy and try your best to make Twilight not shit, and in the end you still didn't know if it was worth it. However that isn't on your mind, the tongue slowly licking your hardening shaft from base to tip is. Rainbow lightly kisses the tip of your dick before licking her way down to lightly nuzzle your testicles. She had learned well from your time with her, paying attention to every single part of you.

You try your best to keep your conversation with Squiggletail civil and answer her questions as best as you could while Rainbow get you hard. It isn't too difficult considering how the only thing between you and possible jail time is the tablecloth. You slouch a bit more and keep your body pressed to the tablecloth, trying your best to keep your face stoic.

“...and then, wait, are you okay? You don't seem to be fully here, darling.” Rarity asks you with some concern.

“I just had a terrible night's sleep, spent a lot of it finishing up that book I was just telling you about.” You cut yourself off with a few fake coughs as Rainbow decides that it is the perfect time to start giving you a proper blowjob instead of licks and you don't want to gasp at the sensation.

“Well I certainly do hope that the effort is worth it! Is twenty bits okay for this?”

“O-Of course it is Rarity. Have a good day!”

“You too, dear! Oh and please get some sleep tonight, okay? I would hate to see you all sick because of these books. These can be written at any time, your health is something you should put first.”

You try not to groan out as Rainbow deep-throats your cock. “It's fine Rarity, I'll be going to bed as soon as the work day is done. Gotta make bits, you know!”

You exchange payment with the white posh mare before you place your hand to your crotch. Rainbow instantly nuzzles your hand as she bobs on your length. “I swear to fuck, Rainbow, if Scootaloo comes up and sees this I swear I'll make you explain this to her. Awkwardly.”

With a 'pop' the cyan mare pulls off of your slick dick. “Don't worry so much, not like Princess Celestia is going to show up.” Rainbow says under the table.

You are about to counter her when a motherly and kind voice speaks to you. “Why hello! Great day we are having, isn't it?”

You look up to see a white mare with an ever-flowing mane blowing gently in the wind. Sweet Lucifer, it is Princess Celestia standing before you! You make a mental note to spank Dash the next time you two aren't fucking in public. “G-good day Celestia! It is quite nice, thank you. I especially thank you for the weather we are having, it is a fantastic day to be in the markets, isn't it?”

She giggles a bit as she smiles at you. “Not calling me princess again? That is quite... what would Rarity say? Uncouth of you, dear human.”

Your member is softening quite quickly at the fact that the ruler of an entire goddamn country is right in front of you. In order to avoid not shitting a ton of bricks you try to make conversation. “Well I think my old citizenship doesn't expire until I have left the country for five years, so until then you are going to be Celestia to me.”

“Oh? Well what happens after five years?”

Two hooves are placed on your legs and you press your hips against the table again. A tiny lick on your limp shaft makes you wondering, what the fuck Rainbow is risking. Not like you could just tell Celestia “Oh please give me a second, one of your subjects is cock hungry and is trying to blow me in front of you.”

You pause and rub your chin to look as if you are thinking. Really you are trying not to concentrate on the fact that Dash just took your soft shaft into her mouth completely and is assaulting you with her tongue to get you hard again. It is working. “Well I would guess you would become my Princess.”

Rainbow's attentiveness to your manhood is beyond amazing. You and her have been fucking one another for so long she knows exactly how to push your buttons. “Then if I become your Princess, my first order is for you to call me Celestia and become the Human Ambassador to Earth. How is that?”

“As long as I can call you Celly or Cel.” You negotiate.

“As long as you keep writing books you can call me whatever you wish. Now, do you
have anything more about your history? Preferably inspiring, I might need it to help Luna gain favour with the subjects.”

You are fully erect again and throbbing inside Dashie's mouth. This feels slightly different, she is practically slobbering all over your cock. “Well, I do have a nice uplifting and motivating short story on a man named Terry Fox, would you like to hear about it?”

Celestia agrees and gives you her full attention as Rainbow Dash gives you hers. You start to tell the princess about how a man who lost his leg ran across Canada. You feel Dash pull off your member as you get into how Terry wanted to raise money for cancer or something, you forgot, and quite frankly your head isn't in the right place.

You then feel Rainbow backing into your crotch, her small tight ass rubbing your soaked manhood over both her holes. This isn't going to end well in your mind as you keep your story up. Rainbow shifts her hips and you await the tight, hot embrace of her cunt.

Wait, that is definitely not her pussy.

Rainbow's tight tail-hole presses against your tip until with a small jerk, it pops inside. Thanks to her thorough lubricating blowjob, her saliva allows you to enter her pretty easily. With the slowest of movements, Rainbow pushes your entire length into her tight ass. The sensation and the situation almost sends your mind reeling, Dash loves anal but this is something else.

“Excuse me? Are you feeling alright?” Celestia asks, breaking your concentration.

You realize that you must have stopped talking. “I am really, really sorry Celestia, I didn't get much sleep last night. I was up all night writing. You know me, I get that tunnel vision that Twilight sometimes gets!”

“Oh that is quite fine! Twilight was always like that, you should have seen her in magic kindergarten...” and then Celestia goes on to tell some story about how Twilight almost blew something up. Again.

You are making sure another part of you doesn't blow, not that Rainbow is helping in any way. She is moving her body in an agonizingly slow pace in order to not move you too much. She would sink into you right to the base, then would tighten up as she pulls away from you. The friction and heat of her ass is absolutely amazing but you are dying to nail her harder.

Celestia is going on about how Twilight would sometime accidentally cause problems for herself to fix. “Oh I know Cel, remember that one time when she enchanted that doll?” That should give her more fuel to work on.

Rainbow's tight ring massages your length as you feel her hoof rub at her marehood. She would periodically grind against your hips and use her hoof to lightly fondle your testicles, almost begging for you to empty inside her. You keep prodding the Princess with more questions and little tidbits in order to keep her talking.

Her teasing is starting to get too much for you, but you still have to remain normal for the royalty in front of you. You pretend to cough a few times in order to not actually moan out loud. Rainbow must have ripped off her lips by now, she hadn't been making a sound except for the tiniest of whimpers that you are barely able to make out.

Dash tightens up and starts to increase her speed a bit, you try your best to not rock the table. Her hot, tight hole grips you harder as the mare shakes in a deep orgasm. Her squeezing depths proves to be your undoing as you feel your own orgasm build up.

In a moment of ingenuity, you spot your bottle of water and take a quick drink and swallow as you start to blow your load inside the horny mare. You pretend to choke as you thrust a few times into the pony beneath you, relishing in the sweet satisfaction of... cumming inside Rainbow Dash.

You fucker.

“Are you okay? Do you need me to help you?” Celestia seems genuinely concerned.

You cough a few more times to make it seem convincing. “It is no problem Celly. I am okay, humans are made of sterner stuff. Just got some water in my throat.”

You twitch as Rainbow falls off your cock and presumably slumps against the ground. To be honest to yourself, that orgasm was so intense that you felt like falling back too. You make some more small talk with the Princess and she eventually also buys Romeo and Juliet as well as the mini-series you call Humans of History; this one about Terry Fox and his fake leg.

“Oh and have you been writing more of that one story you have? Seven I believe?” Celestia enquires. “It seems like forever since you added a chapter or two to the saga. I miss reading about Lucifer and how he interacts with my little ponies.”

“I promise to both you and my readers that I'll be working on it soon. I've been so busy with my projects and work that I haven't been able to work on my long-term plans!” You say as you feel a bit 'normal' again. “Maybe even some side stories.”

“I see, well I wish you the best of luck with it! Please do get some rest though, you look like you might be running a fever, you are all sweaty.”

“Again, please don't worry Celestia. I will be fine. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

She waves with her golden hoof slipper in a dismissive fashion. “No thanks! Have a good day!” She pauses for a second and gives you a shit-eating grin. “You too, Rainbow Dash!”

There is a clunk of a pony hitting her head against your table, knocking a few books over. “Y-you too Princess!” you hear muffled underneath.

You groan as you rub your forehead. “You knew the entire time?!”

The princess seems extremely pleased with herself. “I saw you all flustered with Rarity and decided to take up your time. Nobody would ever dare to bother me while I discuss business with ponies in order to not seem rude. As much as I love my ponies they are too predictable. They are trying to give me so much room it is ridiculous.”

Rainbow appears from under the table and goes around the side enough for her head to pop out of cover to see the princess. This also has the immediate effect of allowing you to see your pearly seed slowly drip over her soaked and winking pussy before running down her athletic thighs. “So you aren't mad at us?” Dashie asks sheepishly.

“It is fine Rainbow Dash, just be sure not to actually get caught by a filly, otherwise I'm making sure you are the one that get to talk to her about it. Awkwardly.” Celestia mock-threatens. “I wanted to make it really special for you two as well as pick up some books. Ta-ta!”

Both of you wave good-byes as the Princess walks away, but not before moving her tail and flashing you her own sex. Both you and Dashie blush heavily as the Princess winks before she leaves you two alone.

Both you and Dashie are looking at different parts of her, you both still got a wink.

“Well... she technically did say we could totally do it.” Dash says, looking back at you seductively.

“I swear Skittles, we got caught by Celestia herself and you still wanna go?”

“I don't see you saying no and I got one more hole for you to take.” She winks, again with both parts of her.

You smile as you see her get back under the tablecloth. Your smile grows even more when you see the bag of bits Celestia left behind. Inside, your happiness grows, knowing you get at least one more ride for you today.

Today was a hat-trick kind of day.